PARIS CAN WAIT, AND WAIT, AND WAIT

PARIS CAN WAIT, AND WAIT, AND WAIT

 

The kindest thing I can say about this travesty of wasted time and talent is I'd consider sticking a needle in my eye before seeing it again—it might be less painful.

 

I've been a Diane Lane fan since her star turn as Ellen Aim in Streets Of Fire, but she is given nothing to work with in this movie except lame dialogue and a complete lack of chemistry with her co-star—the most uncharming Frenchman to ever cross a multiplex screen.

 

Not even Viagra could prop up this limp story, which culminates in a sort-of-kind-of Ferris Bueller breaking of the fourth wall (only cracking it in this case), which is totally out of context with the rest of the film (and I use the term loosely).

 

SPOILER ALERT—You spend the whole film rooting for Diane Lane to not become involved with her French co-star (because the idea conjures up the same kind of icky image in your head as the first time you realize Mom and Dad have 'done it'). So, when she pushed him out of the door at the end of the film without buying the French have different ideas about marriage line, you want to stand up and cheer—END SPOILER ALERT

 

Any movie that can make Paris as unappealing as this film's co-star is one to avoid. Paris will have to wait for a much better film.